სასაცილო ეპიტაფიები

მოგეხსენებათ, ეპიტაფია არის წარწერა საფლავის ქვაზე და მათზე ცოტას თუ ეცინება ხოლმე. თუმცა, ზოგიერთი მათგანი სწორედაც რომ ამ მიზნით გაკეთდა. პოსტის გასაგებად ცოტაოდენი ინგლისურია საჭირო.

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

I will not be right back after this message.

I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou will find a Penny.

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Owen Moore
Gone away
Owin’ more
Than he could pay.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Ma loves pa – pa loves women.
Ma caught pa, with two in swimmin
Here lies pa…

Here lies my wife,
Here lies she;
Hallelujah!
Hallelujee!

Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.

Here lies Robert Trollope
Who made yon stones roll up.
When death took his soul up
His body filled this hole up.

Here lies the body of Mary Ford.
We hope her soul is with the Lord.
But if for hell she’s changed this life,
Better live there than as J. Ford’s wife.

Julia Newton
Died of thin shoes.

Drive with care.
We can wait.

First a Cough
Carried Me Off
Then a Coffin
They Carried Me Off In.

Here lies the body of Emily White,
She signalled left, and then turned right.

Here lies Groucho Marx
and Lies and Lies and Lies
P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

Here lies my dear wife, a sad slattern and a shrew.
If I said I regretted her, I should lie too.

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

 

არ იფიქროთ, რომ ეს ეპიტაფიები ჩემი მოფიქრებულია. ყველა მათგანი ნამდვილია და მათი ნახვა აშშ-ს სხვადასხვა სასაფლაოზეა შესაძლებელი (ხუმრობის გარეშე).